Enjoy Your Dream Wedding! How to Avoid 5 Wedding Nightmares
Engagements are one of the most thrilling times of our lives. For most couples an engagement leads directly to a wedding; when your dreams come true or you experience a logistical and financial nightmare.
Our family was blessed with three daughters who all chose to marry the men of their dreams within just a few years. We learned that no other experience in life prepares a family for planning a wedding. The cost of weddings in 2022 is going up, with an average wedding spend of $25,000+ projected in 2022. And this figure does not include rehearsal dinner, honeymoon, or related expenditures. Weddings are essentially a 1-3 day affair with hundreds of details to be carefully coordinated, regular collaboration with multiple vendors, all wrapped around a bundle of family emotions, and usually some drama!
We have learned after hosting dozens of other couples over the past 10 years at our venue that there are common mistakes families make---all of which are preventable. Here are some pro tips for planning a memorable event while maintaining your sanity and financial solvency.
1. Choose your wedding date thoughtfully. Wedding vendors (venues, caterers, photographers, etc.) book months, even years, in advance. This is especially true during pandemic times. If you want a specific location, a favorite photographer or other provider, confirm their availability prior to setting your date. Certain times of the year are busier than others and many of the most popular venues and providers book fast. Unless you are willing to accept the venues and vendors that happen to be available----delay finalizing a date until you assemble the team you want and confirm their availability.
2. Establish a theme and priorities early. Zero couples plan a wedding with an unlimited budget. But even if your planning isn’t driven by budget (and most are) deciding what style of wedding day you want, and which items are most critical to the bridal couple is important to decide early. A formal affair with plated dinner or more casual with food stations or a buffet? Are florals super important or is the photography your priority? Before you and your family get too deep into Pinterest and wedding blogs, establish your theme and what’s most important to you---early on in the planning process.
3. Think through how many attendants you really need and can afford. Once the ring is on your finger, it is natural to tell as many people as possible and ask friends to be a part of your special day. It is important to carefully think though “Who are my spouse and I likely to remain close to for decades?” Select friends you can reasonably expect to remain close with for many years. We have seen many brides prematurely ask a dozen or so friends to “be in my wedding!” without really thinking through the fact that each one of those people will likely have a +1 for the rehearsal dinner, reception, and other activities. It is easy to forget that each bridesmaid will need florals, hair, make-up, gifts, and other items that drive the total costs of your wedding up fast----really fast.
4. Avoid Do-It-Yourself Wherever Possible. How many times have we heard, “Oh my Aunt Katie loves flowers and wants to do the florals”, or “My Dad wants to cook for the reception and save some money”. These families learn the hard way that there is a reason wedding professionals devote a career to their professions. We strongly recommend against allowing well-meaning family members and friends who are not professional caterers, prepare meals for dozens or hundreds of people. We have witnessed these attempts and they often end up without adequate food, serving utensils, warming dishes or even plates! Professional photographers have shot hundreds of weddings and have the experience, the technology tools and know-how to deliver you the very best memories of your special day. No money you spend will be as valuable as hiring an experienced, professional wedding planner/coordinator. Your sister-in-law is no doubt a wonderful person---but unless she plans weddings for a living, avoid having her plan your wedding as her first project!
5. Invest Your Money in What Really Matters to You and Your Guests. We have thrown away hundreds of beer koozies monogrammed with couples’ names. Some families arrive with boxes of Pinterest- inspired nick-nacks and personalized items which are mostly tossed within 24 hours. Some families will try to “save some money” in ways that really short-change and even disappoint their guests. It is your “SPECIAL DAY!”, and your wedding and reception should reflect your tastes and preferences. But it is also a day where many people have travelled, taken off work, and given up their weekend to celebrate with you. Be considerate of their needs and what makes your guests comfortable. For example, take as many pictures pre-ceremony as possible and do not make your guests wait 45-60 minutes to have anything to eat or drink while you finish pictures. If guests are coming from a hotel, strongly consider a shuttle to take them to and from your wedding; they will probably toss the favors, but LOVE you for giving them a ride to and from!
Planning a wedding with your closest family and friends should be almost as much fun as the Big Day itself, but don’t forget the thoughtful planning that is required. Then, your wedding will be your dream come true and you will avoid the wedding nightmares!
Thomas Bogle
Thom and Gail Bogle are the founders and owners of Bogle Farms, outside LaGrange Georgia and have hosted hundreds of weddings with their favorites being those of their three daughters.